City Lights

Written by Kevin Mark Rabida

The city lights flickered in the distance as we looked at the horizon. Looking up, we saw the scattered stars above us, mimicking the city lights. Or was it the other way around?

I took your hand and pointed above. "See those three stars right there? They're the 'Tres Marias'. Some people call them the 'Three Magi'. I prefer the former, obviously. They make up Orion's Belt. See here, some sort of pentagon... that's the upper body of Orion."

The cold December wind was freezing me to the core, and holding you and feeling your warmth was a welcome thing. "Yes, I see it," you replied.

"Orion was named after a hunter from Greek Mythology. See, he's holding a sword or a club here, and his shield right there. He's a jerk by the way. He hunted Artemis and her mother, so Zeus killed him or something." I saw you smile back at me. "Lame joke, I know, but that's how the story went." I wonder what you hide inside that psyche of yours.

I liked it, the way you silently listen to my rambles of stars and constellations and mythology. I'm guessing you're bored, but still, you held my hand as if it was the most precious thing in the world.

"If we move slightly to his upper right, we would see some sort of "W" or "M" constellation, whichever you prefer. That is Cassiopeia. She was beautiful," not as beautiful as you, "but very vain. So Poseidon flooded their kingdom. In the end, Poseidon put her in the sky tied to a chair as punishment."

"Mmmmm."

"We move further to the left, we would see the Big Dipper and its seven stars: Dubhe, Merak, Phecda, Megrez, Alioth, Mizar and Alcor, and Benetnasch. Don't ask me how. I learned them from a video game." You chuckled. Guess I should not try my luck at doing any stand-up comedy soon. I continued, "If we trace Merak and Dubhe, right here, we'll arrive at Polaris."

"The North Star."

"Wow, you are listening."

"Of course I am, idiot."

I laid your hand back to the blanket-covered floor of my pickup truck, but you never let go of my palm. "We should buy a telescope," you said.

"Yeah, we should," I replied. "Or we could just make one. There should be a Youtube video about that. But I guess, it's nicer to look at the stars and the city lights with your bare eyes."

"Technically, you don't have bare eyes. You're wearing glasses."

"Well I can't see them without it. That would defeat the purpose of actually looking at them, wouldn't it? You're wearing glasses too!"

"Not as bad as your eyes though."

We sat there in silence for a while, trying to feel each other. I could feel the warmth of your body next to mine, but I dare not look at you, because the moment I would, I'm afraid that you would dissolve away into nothingness, like a third wish, like a shooting star, like a firework that lit the night sky then disappearing, never to be seen again.

"The lights we see up there were from a million years ago. In a sense, when we look at the stars, we are essentially traveling into the past... That would be nice. Traveling to the past, I mean."

"Mmmmm."

"I've always wondered if in one way or another, we might have passed each other on the street, boarded the same bus, went to the same amusement park, or looked at the city lights at the same time. There may be entirely different reasons for doing that, but still..."

I wonder what you are doing tonight. Are you sleeping soundly and dreaming of the one you are with right now? Or are you taking photographs of city lights, or writing poetry as an outlet for your feelings? Or are you crying yourself silently to sleep, muffling all the noises else your parents or your siblings might hear you? Perhaps he is taking you for granted, or you knew that he isn't there for you anymore. I would have loved to console you, to let you sleep in my arms, or let you cry on my chest while I hug you tight. I would have loved you more than he ever did. I would have stayed with you.

But we're strangers.

"Perhaps the stars are the secret to time travel," I whispered. "I'll meet you soon. Wait for me."

You smiled, mouthing the words "I will". I watched you slowly disintegrate, from your hair that stayed suspended by the December wind, through your slender limbs and body, to your face that was burnt in my mind. Have we met? I don't know. But I will find you, somehow. Someday.