Why do people do that? why are they searching for it? and why does it become lost anyway?
Souls are often associated with the paranormal presence of a dead human body. It is like the intangible part of the human body that is not backed up by pertinent scientific evidence but is constantly being termed as the after-life version of the human body. In its form, no one could ever say, there are people claiming that it is the blurred version of our human form, some would say that they're like an orbital glow of light, and in its humorous description, a floating white cloak with three holes namely, the eyes and the mouth, that seems to have someone under it.
Paranormal experts would tell that souls represent the emotions of a human that is left on the world, whether it is a negative or a positive emotion, it is represented by the soul that would explain the poltergeist (negative) and those they call guardians (positive). In other point of view, souls are born for the unfinished business of a dead human. Whatever it represents, I still don't know why do ALIVE people do some so-called soul searching.
Based on a material fact, I know that people do that when they don't know what to do, when they're confused, or just simply empty. There are some people that even do some far away travel just to find their souls. How does their soul even go that far? but most people just need some time to be alone and voila they found their soul. HOW IN THE HELL IS THAT POSSIBLE? If souls are deemed to be the after-life version of us, how can they be lost in the first place without us being dead at all?
How am I supposed to know? I'm even searching for mine. Which leads me into writing this piece of angst.
Been a passive human being for quite a while now, days go by, night rode fast, I don't routinely do my works, I'm just plain busy with my life. But I can feel it, there is an emptiness somewhere inside me. What occupies that empty space? I don't know. Maybe that's my soul. And I'm gonna find it. That is part of my intangible human aspect. No one wants to lose a part of themselves even if they do really not know what it is. The fact that you know for yourself that there's something missing is enough for you to go haywire about it.
Where do I even begin looking? I guess, I'll start where I lost it, which is a thing that is not in my knowledge either. Maybe the "where" question could be answered by not just a place but a memory, an emotion, or a state of mind? or it faded and I need to find my new soul? worst is, what if I never had one til now that there's an urge to soul search? and I'll cry if this is just a kind of emotion that is related to loneliness or near depression because I'm actually happy, am I? Ask my soul.
I've tried the most conventional ways, travelling, being alone, reading, having time for myself, and by simple meditating but nothing... still nothing. All I found is a reflection of me at my computer screen typing my rants about an undefined form-less part of me, hoping that by letting my emotions flow will lead me to the thing that I'm looking for. These are the times when the advises of your peers won't aid you, because if the theory is right that the soul is the after-life representation of ourselves, then we have different souls that will adapt our personality and emotion. So if you took an advice from a friend that is proclaiming that he or she already found the so-called soul then It's like taking a cough medicine if you have a back spasm. Different souls, different ways to find them. So, the question would be, where would I hide? Maybe that is where my soul is hiding, or running perhaps?
Whatever the reason is, all I can for now is,I'm actually happy to feel empty for awhile, it reminds me that nobody is perfect and even if I have the things that I currently aspire, there is always an empty part of me to be filled up. Life is an endless journey, there is no such thing as "the destination". If ever there is, that would be found six feet under the ground. The point is, we are always on a journey. Maybe I'll find my soul along the way, til then. I'll just shut my laptop off and continue on my journey.
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